Rain Suits Me Best
by accentcore8
Summary: After learning the truth, Tsubaki defected to the NOL. Even though she had very little influence in this decision, she had still had some, her feelings towards Noel. But no matter her feelings, Tsubaki is still doubting herself, and whether or not what she is doing is right or wrong. Rated T because I feel like it should be. (Sorry about the summary.)


A/N: I've been procrastinating with this story, but I finally got around to typing it. This is my first time writing Tsubaki, so I'm going to apologize in advance if I don't do her character justice. Hope I do. But she will be a little different than she normal would be, since this isn't a bright story. This also my first time writing with Hazama, so I hope I did okay there as well. So, um, here you go!

"What…have I done?" As Tsubaki stood as still as a statue by the Imperator's side, she couldn't help but repeat this question in her head. She began to think that everything she was doing, but those thoughts were quickly pushed away. Any hints of doubt were quickly erased by both Phantom's magic and her weak, but still present, resolve.

"_That's the stuff! Let's see some hate, Tsubaki Yayoi!"_

"You're dismissed, Miss Yayoi." The Imperator's smooth, cold voice reached Tsubaki's ears, and she moved without really knowing where she was going. It wasn't until later did she realize Hazama has showed her to her room. He hadn't said anything, just acted as a guide.

She thought nothing of it. Normally, she would have thanked him, regardless of personal feelings. She was Tsubaki Yayoi, and in her mind, it was a terrible crime to be impolite to someone. It was absolutely unacceptable.

"But…..I'm not Tsubaki Yayoi. Not anymore, at least." Inside, deep inside the old Tsubaki lay, watching as her body performed tasks she was ashamed of. But she was even more ashamed that these were all feelings she was experiencing from the beginning.

She still believed Hazama. It was Noel's fault. If she hadn't existed, she wouldn't have to experience these ugly feelings. She absolutely despised them. It wasn't like she **wanted** to hate, but it was unavoidable. It killed her to hate a girl as sweet as her, who, as far as Noel knows, did absolutely nothing to make Tsubaki hate her, but she couldn't help it.

And every time she thought about it, she knew it was Jin's fault, too. According to him, he hated Noel. She could clearly see that. If he hated as much as he claimed, he should have tried to get rid of her. "Why didn't you try, Jin?! I…you should've tried harder! That…that must mean that...that you like her much more than you let on! Doesn't it?" Angered, she wanted an answer, but knew she wouldn't get one. The real Tsubaki was speaking, not the outer shell.

In fact, despite her inner turmoil, her face showed absolutely no signs of this. No emotion whatsoever. Her eyes were empty, red, and soulless. "Then again, my eyes would look like this no matter what, wouldn't they? Empty and soulless, at least. I technically should be blind. If not for Phantom's magic, I'd be blind right now. It provides me with vision in order for me to fight."

Up until now, she showed no emotion, but surprise did cross her face the moment Hazama came in. It lingered for a moment, but not long enough for him to see, to her relief.

"Finally out of your dreamland? Y'know, I **did** take time out of my busy schedule to help you. The least you could do is thank me. It's easy. Two words." Ignoring Hazama's façade of hurt, Tsubaki, who wished to be alone, wanted him out. "What do you want?" Hazama, who hadn't been expecting Tsubaki to say **anything**, was surprised, to say the least. "Nothing. Just a 'checkup', as the old puppeteer puts it. Oh, why don't you smile? I mean, this is what you wanted, right? Right. A chance for revenge. Against Noel and Jin. For, ah, what's the term….breaking your heart?"

Tsubaki hadn't allowed him to see her previous surprise, but this time, it was unavoidable. "W-What?" Hazama's eyes opened, sending chills up her spine. "I couldn't quite hear you. Speak up a bit, will you?" Tsubaki's eyes grew wider. The smirk on his face….it made her want to kill. "Shut up! You know absolutely nothing! Nothing! You don't how I feel! This is all your fault. If you hadn't told me…**that**, then I wouldn't be here right now!" As if her anger were but a whisper, Hazama began to laugh. "You…you psycho."

"If I hadn't told you the truth, you would've been living in your own world of lies. And don't forget those feeling you've bottled up. Who knows what could've happened if you kept them all inside. To be honest…there's no one else to blame but yourself." A loud clap of thunder exploded in the black sky. Tsubaki jumped, not expecting it. "Scared? Don't worry, Miss Yayoi. That thunder is the **least** of your worries. Careful, now."

The door slammed shut, and Tsubaki fell to her knees. The heavy downpour of rain was deafening. Tears began to fall from her eyes. If someone had walked in at that moment, they would've confused her tears with the rain. "I just….I don't know anymore. Maybe he's right." Tsubaki began to wipe her tears, but stayed on her knees. "No…..I don't know who is right, but that man certainly isn't."

Lightning struck the black clouds, followed by another deafening thunder clap. The quick 4 seconds the sky was lit up, Tsubaki saw an image of another life. One she could have had if Noel wasn't there. Those 4 seconds changed everything. Tsubaki wanted to see more of those images, that alternate world where everything was perfect. Her life was perfect. She was **going** to get rid of Noel. Then she'd make Jin happy, and she would finally be able to experience happiness. What she deserved.

"I….I want this more than ever, than anything. I deserve this, I know I do. It will take time, I know, but for now, I can at least see a glimpse of my future. 'Only you have the power and ability to create your own future. It depends on your decisions."

"I think…that rain suits me best."

A/N: Well, I'm done. End of story. I feel like I did a good job, and this is my longest ever, excluding Chances and Hope. Funny, quote #12 in my profile is about rain, but I started this story before I made that quote. Anyways, I hope did a good job, and if there is anything to fix, or any pointers, I'll gladly accept them to try and learn from them. Bye-Bye!


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